Once again, in an attempt to participate with minimal effort I bought some vampire teeth this afternoon. I'm getting dressed and trying to figure out how the stupid things are supposed to stay on when I lean in towards the mirror, one tooth falls out of my mouth and directly down the drain. Can I be a one-toothed vampire? Can I get under the sink and get the tooth out from inside the plumbing? No, I can't because I don't care. I love Halloween, but prefer to be an observer. I decided to go as a zombie instead. The overall effect is that of a sloppy goth teenager who hasn't learned how to put her makeup on yet. Oh well.